Day 158

Today, a lot of proverbs are again known and memorised by heart.

One specific one got me thinking about raising kids, and it is the verse on spare the rod and spoil the child. I pondered on what the rod meant. It is a stick like we know it, because after that sentence is ‘but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him’. And I was like, discipline can be in many other ways, so could the rod mean more than just a stick? Psalm 23 says the rod and the staff comfort me, right?

I was raised with the rod. In fact, my last beating was when I was eighteen years old, and the last one I recalled before then was when I was ten years old. This caused a major distance between my dad and me; it has taken years to forgive him for that act. The summary was that they wanted me to wear a dress to church, which I didn’t like. So since I wasn’t going to be allowed what I wanted, I didn’t go to church. And it was the first Sunday of the year when the church had its major thanksgiving Sunday, and Pastor’s child wasn’t there!

Anyway, it made me reflect on my kids as well. I used the stick more when they were younger. These days, I discipline them in other ways, some more effective than others. But again, I realise that beyond the stick, you can also use the words to discipline a child, both wrongly and rightly. I struggle with it, and I hate to see their spirit down. I was also beaten with words as a child. Even my mum is surprised at some of the things she said to my siblings and me. And that’s it, guess who remembers?! The person those things were said to, in this case, your child! I always ask for patience in dealing with them and teaching them. I also go back to apologise when I say things I shouldn’t say.

Life in itself is full of lessons, and thank God for wisdom and grace to learn. And a key lesson for me is in parenting my girls, I am learning to parent myself. I am learning a lot from just being their mom.